my turn in the peanut gallery

I have jury duty the same day my kids start school. My request to get out was de-NIED. Apparently, “I have no one to take my kids to school, no one to pick them up, no one to watch them after school, and no one to home school them on Fridays,” are not good enough reason for court.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to serve on a trial when my kids are older and don’t need to learn the alphabet or multiplication tables. A good online friend named Jen gave me some advice: “Tell them you’re Republican. That instantly categorizes you as an un-American racist…at least if the DA is a Nancy Pelosi fan.” I like it. That’s as American as slicing my apple pie with a sickle.

Another online friend named John suggested: “There are questions for prospective jurors for murder trials. One is ‘Do you favor the death penalty?’ Instead of checking yes or no, I write ‘Regular’ or ‘Extra crispy’ and check the latter.” He also adds, “It’s amazing that ‘civic duty’ is never calendar-friendly.” So I’ll try John’s advice which oddly puts me in the mood for KFC.

UPDATE: I got through to a live person and postponed my service until a school vacation. Fantastic. It’s ironic that when I had a desk job and no kids I claimed “financial hardship.” I was always excused. Now that I have kids and no job, I report.

Karma will catch up with the court system. If they babysit MY kids, they’ll send me home post-haste.

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