I’ve been a mom for almost 11 years. I count pregnancy because the moment I found out, I thought of nothing else.
If you Google the word “saint” my mom’s picture pops up. My only regret: waiting until becoming a mother before I appreciated mine. This is what I learned since having kids. I call it my Stay-At-Home Mom Schoolin’:
*We woe the day our daughters find something wrong with their looks. Just when we, as women, stop obsessing about our appearance, they start. As much as we stress that looks are not more important than brains, it doesn’t matter. There are and always will be corners of our minds that insist we don’t look good enough. Our job is not to point that out.
*The less words you use, the more they listen.
*They stop whatever they are doing, no matter what, to watch the Simpsons with you even if they don’t understand all the jokes. Then you have to turn it off when Bart says, “Go to hell!” or “You suck!” Because they sure as hell don’t hear that language from me. That would seriously suck.
*If your child is born with birth defects you never stop blaming yourself even if they’re not your fault.
*Because of these defects, if they have a crappy first year of life, you spend a lifetime making it up.
*Never speak figuratively to a child. Like if you say, “I’m in so much pain I’m gonna die,” they think you will.
*Any joke, bad or good, about any bodily function is HILARIOUS. And they laugh for hours.
- Cute confessions of stay-at-home dad (cnn.com)