woo-ee-oo you look just like buddhist holly

2329135138_9c4bd41bee_oThis is why I don’t believe in reincarnation: our time on earth is like going to school. It’s not always fun but you learn and have moments of clarity and enjoyment. Some classes you adore, others not so much.

Then you go to heaven or hell. And those of you going to hell? You know who you are.

Heaven’s a trip to Disneyland after graduation. Hell’s a trip to the DMV stuck in a line behind a bunch of 16-year-olds who failed their driver’s test at least 3 times because they can’t stop texting while driving.

Imagine God saying, “I know you love roller coasters here and eating all the cotton candy you want without getting sick. But it’s time to go back to school and forget all the subjects you learned.”

“You have to take tests you’re not ready for,” He says. “And there’s a big chance you forget to wear clothes and everyone sees you in your underwear just like in your nightmares.”

He’d never say that. And you wouldn’t go anyway, right? You’d say, “I graduated, it’s time for the Road Not Taken, the trip around the world I never took before I passed away. I’ll finally see what Stonehenge looks like.”

And God would never expect you to go back to school. So I doubt if Aunt Eulala is the fly that buzzes around me, or Uncle Buton is the spider that hangs out in the bathtub. Reincarnation and Buddhism? Not for me.


One comment

  1. Lynne Bolinger · October 30, 2009

    We’ve spent a lot of time talking about heaven here.


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