BOOM! bra vo!

Ben & Jerry's (now with breast milk)Image by RW PhotoBug via Flickr

Yesterday Holly asked me if she needs to drink milk to grow breasts. I said drinking milk is to build better bones but you don’t need it for breasts.

She thought the milk went from her stomach to her chest. April asked, “Do I have breasts?”

I said “Yes and they’ll get bigger with milk after you have a baby. Breasts are for feeding babies and that’s how I fed you.”

Her reply: AHHHHHHHHHH!

Just a few more years before breast size obsession. Yippee, can’t wait. When I was in 6th grade my mom said I needed a training bra. I thought they came with wheels like bikes and when I grew breasts I took the wheels off.

Before I started a new school in 8th grade, I bra shopped with my sister. One bra had little sponges in the cups. I thought, well, that’s convenient if I spill my milk in the cafeteria I can whip out these thingies and viola! Crisis averted. Or if I got wet? BOOM! Instant Dolly Parton!

My sister said the sponges were to make your boobs look bigger. Even then I didn’t believe in false advertising so I passed. I settled for the training bra, wondering when I could take off the wheels and go for a ride on my own.

Good thing I didn’t buy the sponge bra because 8th grade was full of girls whispering who stuffed. I thought girls naturally kept their Kleenex in there because we cried so much. Did I have a lot to learn!

I don’t know what made us so impatient for big boobs. They grew into their own in high school, college, marriage, pregnancy and BOOM there they are. Serving a purpose.

Now in our forties we struggle to keep them off our belt loops. Maybe I’ll go out tomorrow and try to find that sponge bra again. And recite my version of the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity

To accept my breasts I cannot change

Courage to change the breasts I can without plastic surgery

And the wisdom to know the difference.

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