Hi! I’m Flat Stanley! One day a billboard flattened me (don’t worry, there’s a happy ending) so I’m able to travel the good ol United States through snail mail. Thanks to my friends Bud, Mark, Tom, Gwen, Mary Katherine, Rowdy, Sarah, and Steve, here are pictures from my travels.
Special thanks to blogger Slim Paley for helping make the pictures look extra special!
On February 22, 2012, Andrew Breitbart‘s second to last radio show he guest-hosted for Dennis Miller, he talked about the quick passage of time. He said if you ever want to slow time down, stare at the clock like you did in grade school. Time goes by so quickly that we don’t even know what day it is. He said, “If someone asked me the date, I’m usually about 3 or 4 days off.” Staring at a school clock will slow everything down, he assured us.
Sadly, we lost Andrew shortly after midnight on March 1. I first heard of Andrew way before the James O’Keefe/Hannah Giles sting on ACORN. I met him on Facebook in the fall of 2008 when I first joined the Dennis Miller Zone (DMZ), the message board for the radio show. Andrew was a member of DMZ just like the rest of us.
I saw him online one day on Facebook and chatted with him. All he talked about was how Dennis was his idol and he couldn’t believe that he’s guest-hosting his radio show. Shortly after I posted that I’d be sure to call in one day. He was afraid he wouldn’t have a lot of callers,
On December 19, 2008, I called to ask him how he breaks up fights among his 4 young children. I held on for an hour. I didn’t mind it really, I just had to use the bathroom bad and I didn’t know exactly what time I’d go on air. I was afraid I’d go on at the exact time the toilet flushed (which Erik Estrada later did in a phone interview with Dennis on-air!).
Then I heard the click and excitedly said, “This is Terri Jones, I’m one of your Facebook friends!”
To which he replied, “I know who you are!”
I asked my question but he said when it came to parenting ask his wife because he’s never changed a diaper. I would have responded with amazement that his wife was the only diaper changer but I didn’t want to expand on that topic with a full bladder.
He did, however, have a strategy for breaking up fights which was to sit his kids on the stairs until they resolved their differences. The show rewarded me with “Call of the Day” that day. I like to think it was because out of pity for holding on for so long in more ways than one.
Though this was more than 3 years ago, it’s like it just happened. When someone dies you don’t really measure time. You just remember those moments like they are still happening and they never ended.
Tonight, I think I’ll get my analog clock and just stare at it for a while, like I did back in grade school.
Jerry Seinfeld coined a term on Twitter called “Enterplaining.” It’s complaining and entertaining at the same time. Adam Carolla has perfected Enterplaining. On his podcast, he has a segment called “What can’t Adam complain about?” He’s complained about everything from the lifting of prohibition to his bathrobe belts.
However, in real life, someone who constantly complains is draining. But in entertainment, it’s as funny as all get out. Since I don’t get my complaints out verbally (most of the time), I’ll note them here and hopefully you find them enterplaining:
First check out the site – it’s chock full of pictures of the author’s homes and gardens, vacation pictures from around the world, and incredibly high-heeled shoes. What sets Slim apart from the other home design blogs is her witty commentary and soundtracks. Think if Martha Stewart, Elaine May and Vivienne Westwood had a baby. That’s Slim.
Then go to Apartment Therapy’s site here to vote. Scroll down to vote in the poll, then scroll down to the bottom and input this info into the comment field:
Name: Slim Paley
It requires registration to vote, which might be quick or a little finicky, but please be patient. It’s worth it.
You hear my goofy laugh while a man across the room talks about Wisconsin. Later I spoke with him to find out he’s from Delafield and he’s made fun of because of his accent. People from our parts say WisCAAAAHHHHHNsin. What accent?
Dennis walks toward me for a hug and I forget to turn the camera off – do you like the close up of the grid-like pattern of his shirt? Then we get a lovely view of my hand on the lens as he asks me, “Is life good?” And I reply, “Everything’s good.”
I had the pleasure to see Dennis Miller (with opening act Julia Lillis) at the Fox Performing Arts Center in Riverside tonight. He told a sweet story about his 69-year-old mother who got to have dinner with her son and Frank Sinatra 6 months before her death.
She told Sinatra, “I saw you in 1952 at the Stanley Theater in Pittsburgh.”
Sinatra replied, “1952, Stanley Theater? I remember you. You were on the left. You looked GOOD.”
Dennis said his mom “flitted” away.
Tonight, I got to meet Dennis backstage before the show. The way his mom felt when she met Sinatra? Yeah, that’s how I feel right now. I’m still flitting.